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Old Jim's Cows






Listen to the Poet Read
 Driving home from who knows where a little while back,
I saw a rathered battered cow beside the gravel track:
She looked somewhat the worse for wear, with cuts upon her knees,
As there she stood, a mite bemused, amongst a group of trees.

"You know, I'm sure," I said aloud; "that's Old Jim's Jersey cow;
He keeps a mob in Paddy's place, and she's escaped somehow."
"You'd better go and tell him then," says Yvonne, she's my wife;
"Cattle wandering on the road can cause a bit of strife."

Well naturally I agreed with her, and so we motored on.
Jim lived ten mile up the track, just past my brother, Ron.
We hadn't gone a half a mile when, stone the bloomin' crows!
We found another damaged cow, with blood upon her nose!

She looked a little dazed as well, like she had hit her head,
"Looks like she's got concussion; but that can't be," I said.
"She does look quite bewildered," my anxious wife replied;
"And look, she's got a nasty gash right along her side."

We went another mile or two, and reached McDonald's Hill;
And there we found another cow, lying very still
Right across the gravel road - I leant upon the horn,
And, as she slowly looked around, I saw her ear was torn.

"There's something fishy here," I said; and, since I couldn't pass,
I helped the cow get to her feet, and walked her to the grass
That grew, quite thickly, by the road, then motored on some more,
And there, a little up the hill, we found cow number four!

She, too, was sagging at the knees, and looking rather crook,
Her eyes were opened very wide and had a stary look.
"This poor old thing is seeing stars, and lucky she's alive.
And look, another stumbling cow; that makes it number five!"

We hurried on to tell our friend; and on the way we saw
Not one or two of Old Jim's cows, but half a dozen more!
A final right-hand turn we made, and reached the old bloke's gate,
But we could see quite plainly that we'd come a little late!

Old Jim, a glazed look in his eye, was sitting in his truck.
His wife was there beside him; we thought they might be stuck:
But no! They were not stuck at all - just simply staring back
At a cow that stood beside them on their rather muddy track.

We stopped our car and walked across in time to hear him say,
"Isn't that a cow of ours we loaded up today?"
He gave a start when I replied, "Too right it is, my friend,
You've left a cow along this road on almost every bend!"

"We noticed one along the track with blood upon her face,
Just up from where you keep the cows in Paddy Murphy's place.
We thought we'd come and tell you, and we've seen a dozen more -
Next time you load up cattle don't forget to shut the door!"
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